(Source: oloris)

posted 23 hours ago with 77,641 notes
via:clare0b source:oloris
#Miranda sings

(Source: meester-brody)

I don’t know what to tell you other than the fact that a giraffe’s heart weighs 22 pounds and that somebody once told me when flies fall in love, their entire brain is rewired to only know loving each other. When one of them dies, their memory becomes blank. I hope you never think about anything as much as I think about waking up next to you during a windstorm at 5 am. —(via pizzography)
posted 23 hours ago with 28,158 notes
via:maryqueenof5sos source:pizzography
#:( #quote

My new goal for the weekend is to get with that hot 26-year-old who said he’s attracted to me but I’m too young

posted 1 day ago with 2 notes
#gettin slutty #cuz yolo I guess

Ya girl got broken up with tonight because the universe doesn’t allow me to be happy for more than a few weeks at a time

nosdrinker:

hug your dogs for me

sparklesnap:

That’s a metaphor, son! You missed it! It flew right by ya!

peterthewebslingerparker:

littlefuryous:

An elegant meal for one, tonight.

this will be the meal of choice at my wedding. 

humansofnewyork:

"I’m studying to be a librarian."

"What’s the sexiest part about being a librarian?"

"I’d say the width of our knowledge. The rest of academia seems to have a rather specific focal point, whereas librarians need to know enough to serve as a guide for researchers of every discipline."

I mean I’ve been told librarian glasses are sexy but her answer is good too

oh make them play again, the music I long to hear as once again you whisper in my ear, oh my darling